What do you mean by Grit?
Being gritty, having true grit, getting down to the nitty gritty, is all about having the toughness to persevere, to believe in and to go through whatever it takes to reach your goals. Grit has everything to do with an intelligent determination, and nothing to do with emotional whims. It's mind over feelings. And that is what all of us should strive for. It's the key to succeeding in anything we do.
You as a mom have already seen what grit does when you don't feel like getting up and going to work, but do it anyway, when you don't feel like getting up in the middle of the night to feed that crying baby, but do it anyway, when you don't have the energy to answer a hundred more questions from a curious child, but you do it anyway, and when you are worn out from a busy day but go to honor God in His house anyway. That's a taste of grit.
But there's more to it than just doing the basics. There's a gritty determination that we have to develop within ourselves that is based on our faith in God. It's a determination that knows that it knows that it knows that if we give our all to Him, and don't give up, our blessings will be so immense we won't be able to measure them. None of us has truly given our all, but those of us who strive to and have the courage to do so, have seen the results of that type of grit. It's a determination that is wiling to believe in the long-haul, the journey through the desert, the vision of the blessings that only our faith can see, when our eyes see nothing.
Moms, if this is the kind of character you develop in yourself, to find joy in this sort of perseverance, you are close to the Holy Spirit. For those of you who are already baptized in the Holy Spirit, this is one of its fruits. When everything looks bleak, you have joy - not a crazy delusional joy, but one that has absolute faith in the blessings just a little further down the road. Every mom who knows the power of True Grit, will pass it on to her children. Every child who develops True Grit in their faith in God and in the way they face their lives, becomes a success.
Just look at your little ones. Do they drag their feet when it comes to doing tasks? Then look at yourself. Do you drag YOUR feet when it comes to persevering in faith? Do you find joy even in the desert? Stop wasting time pestering your daughters to change, if you don't make these changes yourself!
Therefore brothers and sisters, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble. 2 Peter 1:10
How do you get your little girls to enjoy doing their tasks?
Some of them begin with such enthusiasm, ready to prove to the world that they are responsible and ready for the challenges of being a "big girl." But as it is with all things that begin emotionally, that enthusiasm wears off, and you find yourself being the mom who has to get after her to get her tasks done. You're already getting after her to finish her homework, for cleaning up her room, for not pestering her siblings and for everything else, and so even YOU begin to tire of the thought of keeping her involved in the Pre-Sisterhood! What you thought would be a great way to motivate her to grow, becomes one more burden on you.
The good news is - that can change!!
Be aware that the Pre-Sisterhood is geared to help you just as much as it is to help them. You are being reminded through her tasks, of how important certain attitudes and behaviors are for all women, young and old.
If you struggle with motivating your daughters, perhaps you need to learn some new skills in nurturing and bringing out the best in them. This blog will help you in many ways regarding that. Please send in comments, questions and suggestions for topics, because I'm sure that what you are going through, many other moms are going through as well.
Your example is the greatest motivation for your little girl. Be the first to show her how it should be done. Show her the wonderful benefits of doing her tasks and show her that God blesses us with great results when we sacrifice our flesh to do what is difficult.
Your negative example is the greatest motivation killer for your little girl. If she sees you dragging your feet to get your daily duties done, she will follow you in the same manner. If she sees you complain, have negative attitudes, be selfish and unkind, you make her attempts to grow in God much more difficult. Your negativity is like a stone around her neck.
Praise her, praise her, praise her! Let her know how proud you are every time she does something right. Even if she does something half right, praise her for whatever it is she did well, but also add, "See how well you did this part of your task? I know you are so talented and have such a good heart that you can redo this other part that needs more work. Good job, now show me once you've finished the part that isn't quite complete!" She will be so encouraged to keep on going.
Be thoughtful about each time she needs correction or discipline. Do it carefully, purposefully and not emotionally. NEVER call her names: "Why are you so lazy?" "Only stupid girls don't do what they promise," "You're so selfish," "What's the matter with you, can't you do anything right?" Correct her for wrong actions, and wrong attitudes. Don't attack her character. You will wound her deeply and she will lose all desire to please you. If her own mom says she is stupid and lazy, she will reason that she must be a worthless girl and will never be able to make you happy.
Be a mom who hugs and kisses - A LOT!! Physical affection, cuddles, snuggles, tickles and loving touches go a long, long way in building bonds of love and trust between moms and daughters. We as females all crave this kind of attention throughout our entire lives. But your daughter's sense of self-worth is being shaped right now, and how you treat her will lay the foundation of how she views herself for the rest of her life. Don't be stingy in this!
So you thought that your daughter is the only one who has tasks to do? Surprise!! These are your special tasks to work on from now until all your children are grown. Don't complain that you have to make changes to help her, these changes will make you a better mother, a better wife, and a better woman of God.
God bless!
Evelyn Higginbotham
For any questions, post them in the comments below or email me at:
feh@succeedinlife.org
Thank you Mrs. Evelyn sometimes we need a reminder!
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